Friday, March 2, 2012

How To Change Your Life For The Better by Tom Gnagey

Unless you are in the depths of depression you probably sometimes wonder about changing your life in certain ways. Wanting and doing are very different concepts. Here are some ideas about helping you move from wanting to make those changes to evaluating their probable effects and then actually making them.

How to Change Your Life, Idea #1: Set a goal, perhaps two or three. Then, in some detail, write out how (not why) you believe reaching each goal will make life better for you and those around you in the long term. (This change will improve my life by ____ .) Decide if those are good enough reasons to begin working toward the goal.

How to Change Your Life, Idea #2: List the traits you possess that will assist you to reach each goal. Also, list those traits you will need that you don't yet possess. Determine how (if) you can acquire them. Having or acquiring the necessary characteristics is the essential second step.

How to Change Your Life, Idea #3: To reach a goal there are always small steps to accomplish in a given sequence. List those steps. Decide exactly how you will go about achieving each one. Is additional training necessary? Must you some how carve time out of your busy schedule? Where? Are there contacts you need to make? Will you need to earn or set aside money or obtain a scholarship to pay for something?

How to Change Your Life, Idea #4: Write out specifically how you will know when you have achieved each of the mini-steps along the way as well as how you will know when you have reached the larger goal. It usually takes this form: “(Such and such) will happen.”

How to Change Your Life, Idea #5: Look ahead and determine (honestly) how your achieving that goal will effect others. We typically need to set goals that help everyone who is involved or touched by the event. If your goal cannot be reached without hurting somebody else, either rethink the whole idea or plan ways to minimize or offset any such harm or discomfort.

In thinking about how to change your life for the better, mentally add up the costs. What will the cost be to the quality of your family life? What will the cost be to your over-all financial condition and will you realistically be able to recover? What will the costs be to your health? What will the cost be to your values and integrity?

Perhaps the bottom line when considering how to change your life for the better is the definition you give to to the concept 'better'. Better in what ways? Better than what (the present)? Better at what risk or loss or gain? Often the question should not be how to change your life but how to think more positively and realistically about the life you have. Often a few rather small changes or some reorganization can cast an entirely new and positive perspective on what you have; maybe not, but certainly consider that first.

It may be of great value to talk with a professional counselor or work through a self-help or self-evaluation program of some kind. Make sure your 'head' is in the right place before you begin such a huge task as changing your life in any major way.

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