Build your self esteem, a starter guide to self improvement

So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Darts, at one point or another. These darts will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you.  So which darts should you avoid?

Dart #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned.  Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Dart #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Dart #3: Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for a while, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Dart #4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

Dart #5: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Dart #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”  

In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change  changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline.  Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

Simply Take Action

The time to take action on any new idea, which comes into your head, is now. The sooner you take action, while the idea is still hot and the emotion is strong, the greater the level of inspiration and the better your drive will be to succeed.

Example: As you know a commitment towards lifelong learning, is crucial, if you want to achieve anything meaningful with your life. So in line with this commitment, let's say you decide that you want to start to build your new library, filled with all the right personal development books, to support your commitment towards your personal growth. While the idea is still fresh and the desire is strong, you should either go straight to the bookstore to buy the books you need or immediately go online and order them from Amazon.

Law of diminishing Intent
Take action while the iron is still hot or before the great idea you had dims. If you don;t, you will fall prey to the 'LAW OF DIMINISHING INTENT'. This law is simple. It is all about intention and lost opportunities. You intend to take action when an idea comes to your mind. You intend to do something, when the emotion is high, but if you do not translate that intention into action fairly soon after it comes into your mind, the urgency starts to diminish and the intent and drive diminishes. As time passes the passion dies, the urgency goes cold and eventually the idea just fades away like it never even existed in the first place.

Take Action
The immediate cure for the Law of diminishing intent and the way to make things start to happen in your life is to learn the discipline of simply taking action, whilst ideas are still hot in your mind. The sooner you learn the discipline of taking action immediately, while any idea is still fresh, clear, strong and powerful, the greater will be the clarity around what you want to achieve.

If you hear someone speak about good health and it inspires you to finally do something about improving your own health. Immediately buy a good book on nutrition and place it in a visible place, where you will see it and actually read it every day. While the idea is still fresh and the passion is high, join a gym and schedule time into your dairy to attend gym sessions. Get an accountability partner to support you and to join you at the gym, to workout with you. This will encourage you to actually go to gym and improve your health.

Don't waste the wisdom
Unless you take action on any great idea the wisdom it brings will be wasted. The strong emotion brought on, by any new great idea, is soon wasted, unless you have the discipline to actually get off your butt and take action immediately. Discipline is the catalyst, which allows you to capture the wisdom and translate it into action and finally success. The key to increase your level of inspiration and to successfully turn any wisdom, which comes to you into success, is to learn the art of discipline. When an idea comes to you, flex your discipline muscles immediately and convert the idea into action as soon as possible.

Build your Self Esteem
One of the greatest benefits, which flows from discipline, is self-worth or self-esteem. Discipline, drive, keeping all the commitments you make with yourself and taking action, are all key elements needed to build your self-esteem and belief in your ability to succeed. A lack of discipline or consistently letting yourself down, erodes your psyche and damages your self-esteem. The temptation to ease up and not deliver your best, breaking those crucial commitments you make with yourself, is a sure-fire way to destroy your self-esteem and to destroy your belief in yourself.

Neglect Compounds into Regret
There is a huge problem with allowing even a little bit of neglect and poor daily discipline to creep in to your life. The lack of daily commitment and neglect adds up over time and compounds into regret and bad results. Any neglect, no matter how small, has the ability to add up into poor results over time.

Discipline Compounds into Meaning and Fulfilment
The price of neglect is, failure, regret, divorce, bankruptcy, retrenchment etc. whilst the price of daily discipline, weighs almost nothing at all. The rewards of consistent daily discipline are huge though and add up into a life of value, filled with meaning joy and satisfaction. Act now and invite discipline into your experience. The rewards are well worth the small daily price required.

Andrew Horton is one of South Africa's top sales training experts. He will support, uplift and inspire sales professionals to explore the limits of their potential and awaken the sales giants, which resides within all of them. His sales training presentation is aimed at inspiring sales professionals, helping them to become re-energised and eager to achieve their sales targets. The sales tools and powerful tried and tested practical sales techniques, they will be introduced to during his presentation, will help any sales professional to immediately up their game and to become a real sales giant, within their markets. Visit my website at http://www.andrewhorton.co.za

Repairing Your Self Esteem

By Michelle Sears

Repairing your self esteem can be done but it takes commitment, determination and desire. But not in the sense that you might think.

Because it has nothing to do with your surrounds, your family or your career. All this work is done internally. You must learn to love and accept yourself completely.

You must commit and commit fully because the only person who is concerned about building yours self esteem is you. You're the only one who knows what self esteem means to you and how much of it you have.

And it all begins with loving yourself. You need to love yourself enough to have compassion and sympathy for yourself. And you need to understand that you're not always going to be right and that's OK.

You're going to make mistakes and regret doing or saying things but that's part of life. You can't beat yourself up for it. You must let it go and keep moving forward.

I've noticed that a lot of people who are unhappy and uncaring about themselves are spending most of their waking hours living in the past.

By continuing to be unforgiving and unaccepting of themselves in the present. It's unnecessary and it's mentally, physically and spiritually draining.

Learning to let it go

Learning to let go of anything and everything that happened in the past will help you tremendously with repairing your self esteem.

I believe that on some level, self esteem does fluctuate up and down. One day you may have a ton of it and nothing bothers you and on other days you may not be able to tolerate a thing.

That's why it so important to learn to let it go. Let go of the fact that you acted irrational yesterday. Let go of the fact that you could have acted differently but never. Forgive yourself for saying not very nice things about your mother ten years ago.

Forgive yourself for getting out of line the last time you were angry or upset. Forgive yourself for making a mistake that hurt or effected someone else.

Holding onto all these little self judgments from the past will keep you from feeling good about yourself in the present. And the longer you hold onto them the more unhappy you'll become.

Learn to live in the present moment

Learning to live in the present moment will make you happier, more accepting and much more adventurous than you can imagine right now.

If you start to focus more of your attention on what is happening in your present situations you'll have the power to fix what isn't working and start enjoy what is. Instead of thinking and feeling negative about what happened in the past.

In the past, where you have no power to change it anyway. You have the power to control what you focus on. And you have the power to choose to be loving and accepting. And you also have the power to create all things the way you want them to be.

Repairing your self esteem is worth it in the short term and in the long run as well. You'll never regret feeling good about yourself or accepting yourself regardless of what happens.

But I do know one thing, you absolutely cannot live in the past and expect to happy, healthy and wise in the present. You must make the necessary adjustments to do whatever it takes to live in the present moment and to treat yourself with loving kindness right now.

Forget about fixing the past, that stuff is over and done with. Focus your attention on right now and how you want your future to look. That is where your power is and that is where you can learn to love and accept yourself completely, which is the core of self esteem.

Michelle Sears is the author of a self esteem building website that is packed full of information. Her site was created to help people just like you create a deep loving relationship with yourself. A relationship that will affect every single area of your life - in a good way. Visit her on her website at http://www.selfesteem-building.com or on her Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/selfesteembuilding

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"A Better You", 7 ways to self-improvement

I seem to have lost count on how many times I've read and heard of celebrity marriages failing. Not that I care (and personally I don't), it seems strange that we often see movie and TV stars as flawless people, living the fairytale life of riches and glamour. I suppose we all have to stop sticking our heads in the clouds and face reality.

There are many ways to lose your sense of self-esteem despite of how trivial it could get. But whatever happens, we should all try not to lose our own sense of self.

So what does it take to be a cut above the rest? Here are some of the things you can think and improve on that should be enough for a week.

1. Know your purpose
Are you wandering through life with little direction - hoping that you'll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.

This may seem tricky at first when you see yourself to be in a tight spot or even a dead end. But there's always that little loophole to turn things around and you can make a big difference to yourself.

2. Know your values
What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals for 2005 - check your goals against your values. If the goal doesn't align with any of your top five values - you may want to reconsider it or revise it.

The number shouldn't discourage you, instead it should motivate you to do more than you can ever dreamed of.

3. Know your needs
Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? There are so many people who lived their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed for that matter. List your top four needs and get them met before it's too late!

4. Know your passions
You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm will only hinder you, but will not derail your chance to become the person you ought to be. Express yourself and honor the people who has inspired you to become the very person you wanted to be.

5. Live from the inside out
Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Commune with nature. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. For most of us city slickers it's hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. In my case I often just sit in a dimly lit room and play some classical music. There's sound, yes, but music does soothe the savage beast.

6. Honor your strengths
What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three - if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify these. Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know to others.

7. Serve others
When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others -your spirit - your essence. The rewards for sharing your gift with those close to you is indeed rewarding, much more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can appreciate what you have done to them.

Self-improvement is indeed one type of work that is worth it. It shouldn't always be within the confines of an office building, or maybe in the four corners of your own room. The difference lies within ourselves and how much we want to change for the better.

How to Increase Your Self-Esteem and Increase Success

By: Anne Bachrach

Self-esteem is defined as a person’s overall “self-appraisal…their own level of competence, beauty and worth.” Interestingly, self-esteem can involve a person’s belief system, as well as their emotion. Self-esteem can be tied in with a person’s desires and belief-obligations, as well as what they feel is their own level of competence. Emotionally, self-esteem can be affected by feelings of pride and shame as well as joy and despair. You can tell a lot about a person’s self-esteem in the way they carry themselves. Body language as well as tone of voice and facial expressions can reveal qualities of assertiveness, shyness, confidence or nervousness.

Many people suffer from low self-esteem as well as other self-limiting beliefs, which pummel them into a state of non-action. Self-esteem is not limited to one aspect of a person’s body or mind, nor is it all-inclusive. Some people may hate their physical appearance but still hold their mental prowess to be average to high in ability. Others may discount their abilities or their worth, even though they enjoy showcasing their body for attention. Some people may hate every aspect about themselves. Whatever the case, these personalities are said to have low self-esteem. Because of these limiting beliefs, people have been known to sabotage their own future by putting forth careless efforts.

High and Low Self-Esteem

What does the opposite of low self-esteem really mean? It doesn’t imply arrogance, though the term self-confident has occasionally been used to describe vain characteristics. A high level of self-esteem essentially means respecting yourself as a person, treating yourself with the same attitude that you would give one of your own friends or peers. This is an important step to increasing your level of self-esteem: viewing your life objectively. If you look at yourself through someone else’s eyes, you may find plenty to love and little to hate. You may also be able to better pinpoint negative behaviors that can be changed, assuming you want to change.

High self-esteem has been called the “immune system” of the soul, something that can help a person to cope with life’s problems and sidestep problems. What builds self-esteem in the first place? Self-esteem is very hard to fake. People who try too hard to be self-confident usually give themselves away. Self-esteem is an internal peace that exudes to the surface of a man or woman’s skin. Self-esteem evolves along with the human organism, starting from a child’s developmental process into adulthood. The child learns to be happy and confident with his or her abilities because of positive reinforcement learned early on. Beyond this stage, self-esteem is increased the more success an adolescent (and eventually and adult) enjoys in life. Success naturally makes people feel good about the world and about their own capacity to contribute to it. The more challenges they overcome they more energized they feel. You could say that success is like a healthy vitamin, as opposed to the addictive drug of failure. Your body has to cope somehow with its surroundings. Better that you nourish it with positive feelings rather than expose it to chronic misery!

How To Be Successful

How does one ensure success, though? Isn’t it true that it’s hard to become successful in life and that, as many inspiring success stories as there are out there, there are twice as many depressing stories that don’t amount to anything? Yes, it is true that bad things happen and that some visions of success are unrealistic. It would not be wise to covet the riches of a movie star or the fame of a national figure. This is an unrealistic expectation for most, propagated by the media, an institution that relies on the sensational and the unbelievable in order to sell their product. Before you start to define what success really means you have to determine your own personal definition. What do you want out of life, in the short-term and the long-term?

Setting goals is a must. I believe in setting ambitious goals that are in alignment with what you want in your life. When you set short-term goals, you are giving your mind more consistent reinforcement. You are not focusing on one monumental feat every 5 years, but little goals perhaps every week or even every day. It’s about progress and achieving milestones along the way to your long-term and life-time goals. The more goals you fulfill, even if they are relatively small, the better you will feel about yourself. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and forgive yourself for your mistakes. This is what makes or breaks self-esteem. Increase your self-esteem by measuring your progress. You know if you are making progress you are on the path toward achieving your goals.

» Link to this page : http://www.articlecube.com/Article/How-to-Increase-Your-Self-Esteem-and-Increase-Success-/1715627

Boost Your Self Esteem!

by Scott Beckstead

When you consider that low self-esteem is usually the result of negative messages being absorbed by the subconscious, it makes sense that feeding your mind more positive messages can make a powerful difference!

What stops most people is the uncertainty of what to say, and how to word affirmations for optimal effectiveness. Below you'll find some simple tips to help you write effective affirmations for improving your self-esteem.

1) Present tense. First, it's helpful to word affirmations in present tense, not future. You wouldn't want to say, 'I will learn to love myself' because that makes it sound like you'll get around to it someday. Instead you could say, 'I choose to love myself'. The wording of that affirmation does two things: it empowers you with the addition of the words 'choose to', and it puts the timeframe in the present moment.

2) Believable. At the same time, your affirmations should be believable to you. If you tried to say, I am a wonderful person with a lot to offer the world, you may not really believe that, so your subconscious mind might reject it. Instead, try to focus on a process rather than an end result in your affirmations. Say something like, I am learning to embrace my uniqueness and share it confidently with others.

3) Use the right tone. When you recite affirmations, you can do so aloud or just mentally, but you should focus heavily on the TONE you use. Rather than saying the words without emotion like you were reading a newspaper really inject an element of love and tenderness into them. Your subconscious mind picks up on the emotional aspect of what youíre saying more than the actual words. Imagine the difference between saying the words, ìI really love myselfî with a tone of love and compassion, or sarcasm. Which do you think would have a greater impact on your subconscious mind?

4) Repetition. Once you've got some affirmations formed to work on your self-esteem, try saying them several times a day. Remember, your subconscious mind is constantly playing back old, negative messages so you want to counteract those as much as possible. Keep reciting your more positive thoughts on a regular basis - especially when you become aware that youíre thinking negatively about yourself.

5) Give it time. Finally, remember that it will take time to change those old, negative messages in your mind to something more positive. It may take a few weeks or even months before youíll notice an obvious difference in how you feel, and you may be tempted to think it isn't working. Keep with it, and you will begin to see a difference eventually! Most likely it will be a gradual change. Little by little you'll start feeling more positive, and notice that you're feeling a bit happier and lighter. That's your signal that it's working!

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Article Source: Boost Your Self Esteem!

How to get motivated: 4 NLP strategies that work

Author: Anna Aparicio

/mo·ti·va·tion/

1. The reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way

2. The general desire or willingness of someone to do something

3. *My own definition: the art of getting off your butt and getting stuff done

Because here is the thing: you may have a burning desire to do something, you may have the best will in the world, you may even know all the reasons why you should do it… but if you haven't done it yet, don't be surprised.

Getting motivated doesn't happen by coincidence or by miracle. Motivation is not something that some people have and others don't either. It is something we all do, consciously or unconsciously, everyday!

Motivation is not something you have or don't have; it is something you do

Take training, for example, notice I say training, and not exercising! We want to do it, we know it is good for us, we know it is going to make us look better and feel better… but after a hard day's work, when tiredness sets in, who would blame us for wanting to slouch on the couch and watch some TV while eating our favourite treat?

Well, think of taking a shower for a moment. Most of us do it every day. We don't wait until we are all stinky to clean ourselves. We do it because it is the right thing to do; it is time to take a shower.

We are able to do this because we have built up this good habit over the years through repetition. We do it at the same time, in the same place, following the same routine, which is so ingrained in our unconscious that we are barely aware of the process.

If you want to get to the point where your training routine goes as smoothly as your shower routine, start following the following NLP rules:

1# IDENTIFY EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT TO DO

Answer these questions:

What do you want specifically? When do you want it by? Where? With whom? What for? What will happen if you achieve that? What if you don't achieve that? Is it under your control? Is it worth it?

You see, when setting up goals, a lot of people do it wrong. They state what they want to have, not what they want to do; things like "I want to be slim", "I want a six pack" or "I want to have toned arms"… But, what do you want to do? Because it is as a result of you doing what you need to do that you will get to have what you want.

Your objective needs to be stated in a way that your brain understands it. And just like your computer, your brain needs 3 things: affirmative statements that are direct and very specific.

If you are just thinking it then it is not an objective, it is just a thought. So, put pen to paper and write your answers to the questions above.

If you don't know what you want, how will you know when you've got there?

 2# MAKE A PLAN

Again, if you don't have a plan, all you have is a lovely thought. I suggest you get yourself a diary, an excel sheet, a calendar, whatever works for you, and devise your personal strategy. A strategy to suit your lifestyle, your working schedule, etc…

Keeping the end result in mind, what is the first step you need to take in order for you to do what you need to do? And after that? What's next? Do you have all the resources you need (resources are materials, books, money, people…), or do you need help?

If it's going to take you 12 weeks to get a six pack, set a date and work backwards from there. If you want to lose a stone in 3 weeks, do the same. Break your objective into smaller, more achievable chunks, so that this week you know exactly what you are doing with regards to training and nutrition, and you can focus on just that. As I tell my clients, it's one week at a time, one day at a time.

You see, now you have more than just a nice thought; now you have a plan of action. And believe it or not, this is what most people lack. It's hard to get motivated if you don't know what you want to get motivated for!

And what are you going to do when you are tired, sad, in a mad mood, frustrated…? You must put strategies in place, so when that happens, and it will, you know exactly what to do. You have to become a bit of a ninja!

3# FIND OUT WHAT FIRES YOU UP

There are a lot of things that we need to or should do, but that doesn't mean we do them. So I want you to try on the following sentences, simply add what you want to be able to do at the end.

For example, if you want to go to the gym every day at 6pm for an hour, try these on. Say them out loud:

I should go to the gym – I need to go to the gym – I have to go to the gym – I'd better go to the gym -

I could go to the gym – I can go to the gym – I will go to the gym – I'm going to the gym

Do this a few times and notice which one creates the strongest feeling within you, like you want to go do it. You've just unlocked your personal motivational language. Make sure you use it from now on!

4# IMAGINE YOURSELF SUCCEEDING

One of the main functions of the brain is to prove itself right. So, whatever you focus on is magnified, as the brain thinks it is an objective of yours. Also, the brain doesn't know the difference between a vividly imagined memory and reality. This is why if you want to do something, it's vital you imagine yourself doing it like this (read this NLP resource fully before you do it):

 

Think of yourself doing the thing you want to do, training in the gym, or whatever. When you think about it you may notice the thought to be at a certain distance from you, a certain size, and in a certain place. Just make sure you see yourself in it, looking happy, positive and really enjoying what you are doing.

 Now, imagine the thought getting bigger and bigger until it's almost panoramic. Make sure it's big, bold and colourful, maybe add some sound to it, and notice how good you feel.

 Now, imagine you can float outside of your body and into yourself in the image, so you can see through your eyes, hear through your ears and feel how good it feels to be doing what you are doing and loving it too! Intensify everything even more, so the colours are brighter, the sounds louder and the feelings stronger.

 Now, tell yourself in your most motivating voice "Go For It!"

 Now, take a deep breath through the nose and magnify the feelings so you feel even more motivated!

 Repeat 3 times, first sitting down, and then standing up, and notice how you feel even more motivated!

It's vital that you build a propulsion system that makes you feel good and look forward to doing the things you want to do, so that you want to do them more and more. This is how you get to build up new more useful habits to last you a lifetime.

I've just shared 4 motivational strategies with you,  that when you use them, they will help you get more stuff done and achieve more, faster. They can be applied in any area of your life. These strategies have helped transform some of my clients from couch potatoes into fitness freaks, so good luck to you!

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/motivational-articles/how-to-get-motivated-4-nlp-strategies-that-work-5109860.html

About the Author

Anna Aparicio is regarded as Ireland's top female NLP/Hypnosis Life Coach. A Self-esteem and Confidence Expert, she has helped hundreds of women all around the world feel empowered, super confident, and lead happier more succesful lives. With a unique blend of Neuro-linguistic Programming, cutting edge personal development tools, and a contagious sense of humour and zest for life, Anna is renowned for getting results fast. Now you can get her free report WHY YOU'LL NEVER GET WHAT YOU WANT UNLESS YOU DO THIS at http://www.delite.ie